This morning at school drop off, one of the moms announced that she's expecting again. As everyone was hugging and congratulating her, I suddenly I found myself feeling tense, awkward, and not going to lie, a little bit jealous. Now let me be clear, I'm really thrilled for this mom and her family; babies are such a blessing (I know that for certain). But in full disclosure, in that moment, my loss hit me like a ton of bricks.. I was supposed to be giving birth any day now, and the reality sunk in deeply.
Truth is, this isn't the first time.. after we lost Ellie, I really struggled with this.. in the beginning I couldn't go to baby showers and found it difficult to be around pregnant women, even friends.. But I have to admit, after lots of experience with this, and months gone by, my feelings this morning really took me off guard. I have no profound advice; loss sucks no matter when you experience it, and it stays with you. You carry on in your life, but you never forget, and you're never the same.
I share this because sadly I know so many of you have experienced a loss. You may have had moments like this or you may not; but whenever and however your loss effects you is ok. Go easy on yourself and feel what you need to feel.
Wishing you strength & love.
I'm Rebecca, a Maine mom of three energetic young boys and wife of a lobsterman, living in my favorite place, the coast of Maine. You'll find me here talking about my parenting journey, mom style, recipes, running and exercise, travel, stories from our life in Maine and so much more! Most days I'm just figuring it out as I go - Thanks so much for stopping by!