I know my posts have been a little scarce lately and I promise there is a reason... I am almost 14 weeks pregnant, but unfortunately dealing with complications. Its funny, 2 weeks ago I was worried about the 15 lbs I had already gained... boy how quickly things change...
Two weeks ago during a 12 week ultrasound, we found out that the baby has a Cystic Hygroma. Essentially there is too much fluid behind the baby's neck and around his body, and the lymphatic system isn't working properly. I've had enough ultrasounds to know that it wasn't normal from the beginning..both by the look of the image and the look on the techs face... long story short within a matter of minutes I was meeting with a Genetic Counselor, and then the high risk doc, and within 30 minutes I was having a CVS procedure to test for chromosomal abnormalities.
After an excruciating week wait, we were told that the baby thankfully most likely does not have a chromosomal abnormality including the most common disorders. We are doing further testing and will have more (hopefully good news) in a few weeks. We still have many more hurdles.. I have an ultrasound at 16 weeks to check in, and an anatomy scan and fetal echocardiogram at 18 weeks, as the next likely suspect is serious heart, brain or skeletal problems, and regardless the cystic hygroma itself can be too much for the baby to handle and increases the risk of miscarriage and loss. Generally the prognosis of a Cystic Hygroma is very poor, and two weeks ago, our chances of this baby being born healthy were about 10%. Now, after the chromosomal testing they are up to about 50%, which may not sound great, but the truth is the chances of having a cystic hygroma is about 1% and it happened, so I'm going to remain positive about 50%....
I know we are all stronger than we think, and I know I will get through this, but right now I'm feeling tested. I somehow thought I had met my quota for pregnancy problems, but life is funny... I try not to go there, but I question how I would possible handle loosing another baby...
I had hoped to do a fun gender reveal photo shoot or had even tossed around the idea of being surprised, but we found out through the chromosomal testing that it's a boy. I pray that he is tough like his big brothers and defies the odds.
As I start to feel down and feel like I can't catch a break, I remember that some people don't ever get a break and I've had two that are beautiful, healthy, and energetic boys... and keep me happy and distracted. I'm trying to stay positive and hope for the best. Cystic Hygromas can resolve, it does happen. So for now I'm going to think that we're going to be one of the lucky ones and this little boy will be just fine...
I should note that my boys don't know anyone this, and they won't for a while.. They are so young and innocent and I don't want them barring any of this burden...
If you are wondering why I am sharing this, there are many reasons.. In my journey through loss, and motherhood, I'm shocked how little we talk about loss, grief, and problems with pregnancy. For so many of us pregnancy is not easy... and supporting each other is the best thing we can do. I also posted on a large local moms group and was shocked that no one else had dealt with a cystic hygroma diagnosis. If any of you reading has been through this, I'd loved to connect if you're comfortable. And now if any of you face this in the future, you'll know that I can be a resource.
Thank you all so much for listening and keeping this baby in your thoughts and prayers.
I'm Rebecca, a Maine mom of three energetic young boys and wife of a lobsterman, living in my favorite place, the coast of Maine. You'll find me here talking about my parenting journey, mom style, recipes, running and exercise, travel, stories from our life in Maine and so much more! Most days I'm just figuring it out as I go - Thanks so much for stopping by!