October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month... and today, October 15th is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. Today I am thinking of my little Ellie who was only with us 10 days, my little boy - whose pregnancy ended recently at 16 weeks, my dear friend and her twins, another friend and her sweet boy born still, and so many other friends, acquaintances and all of you that have navigated this difficult journey. Until I had a miscarriage, I didn't fully understand the depth of that loss. We met our daughter, held her, kissed her, and let her go in our arms, but miscarriage is also a great loss... a loss of what should have been, and a part of you that you will never meet or hold.
I choose to talk about our losses in hopes that in some small way it will help one of you... whether you are navigating your own loss, or trying to support a friend. It's a club we never wanted to be in, but those of us that have experienced this loss are bonded. 1 in 4 women will suffer a miscarriage or lose their precious infant before one year old.. I didn't realize how true this statistic was until I started talking about it... You don't have to grieve in silence- you are not alone. If we share we can support. I truly loved how my social media news feeds included remembrance today. Friends at the Carrying On Project posted these words from Barbara Kingsolver's Animal Dreams, today on Instagram:
"A miscarriage is a natural and common event. All told, probably more women have lost a child from this world than haven't. Most don't mention it, and they go on from day to day as if it hadn't happened, so people imagine a woman in this situation never really knew or loved what she had. But ask her sometime: how old would your child be now? And she'll know."
So true.. my Ellie would have been 5... and right now I would have been 25 weeks pregnant... I will never forget.
So today, let's talk about it, let's share, let's support, let's give hugs, and let's remember these sweet babies and our time with them (whatever that looked liked).
I am truly thankful for all of your support, and I continue to be amazed by and inspired by so many of you sharing your stories with me.
Lots of love-
I'm Rebecca, a Maine mom of three energetic young boys and wife of a lobsterman, living in my favorite place, the coast of Maine. You'll find me here talking about my parenting journey, mom style, recipes, running and exercise, travel, stories from our life in Maine and so much more! Most days I'm just figuring it out as I go - Thanks so much for stopping by!